I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
