Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
