Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
