i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
