I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
