we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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