just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
