omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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