Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
