Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
