Will you blow on my dice?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
