they need to just BURY HIM!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize