I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think people are normalizing furries
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
