Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
this hospital has no fireball
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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