The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
