Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

have you facebook stalked him yet?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

No, I don’t know his last name...

(803): View more from South Carolina

Just google his license plate numb

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(330): View more from Ohio

Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?

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(206): View more from Washington

I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.

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(954): View more from Florida

You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?

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(416): View more from Toronto

So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with

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