I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
