God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
