i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
