I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
