Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
