booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
