Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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