You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
