We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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