And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
