Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
