I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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