I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
