the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize