The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Im part way to drunk.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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