Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
