Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
