I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
