Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
