3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
