He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
