yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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