i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
