Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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