i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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