Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
