It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
