Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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