so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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