We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
