My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i wish my penis had a tongue
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
