Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
