i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
