come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
