Yo dont text me then not text me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
