I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
