I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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