Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My ass is underappreciated
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
