What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
