sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
