Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
