so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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