Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do herpes really smell.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
