i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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