i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
