I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
