just tell him i said nine months
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize