I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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