just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
