I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
