So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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