That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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