Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
