Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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