Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
